being the same as everyone else when everything is different

The message God had prepared for me today was that my value is in Him and not in the things of this world. Such timing our God has, He's funny that way. He knew that this week had been hard on me as I was put in certain social situations that left me feeling uncomfortable in my own skin. Ashamed of my new life. Embarrassed about my current social status.

As others were gearing up for their weekend vacations to their 5 bedroom beach houses in the OBX (Outer Banks of North Carolina) and jetting down to DisneyWorld, it hadn't even really occurred to us that it was a holiday weekend. Our Monday will be the same as any other Monday. As parents stood around discussing summer plans on the last day of school I had to face everyone's stares when I was asked where we were planning to go. Go? Are we supposed to go somewhere every summer? We've never taken a traditional summer vacation as long as we've been married. Our (apparently) poor deprived children are destined for a summer of family togetherness at home with a possible day trip to the beach thrown in here or there.

I sometimes feel as though the world is spinning around and I am in an outer orbit looking in at everyone else living on a whole other level. It doesn't usually bother me, but you know how Satan loves to find your weaknesses and use them against you. My weakness (I say that as if I only have one - HA!) is wanting to be accepted by other people. But when I sit down at the end of the day and take a hard look at my life I can see the real truth. I love my life. I love the chaos of animals and kids running amok. I love the spontaneity of my husband. I love that we seize opportunities to do cheap or free things with our kids whenever we can, even if it is just a Tuesday afternoon free ice cream cone. I don't feel deprived in any way, in fact I feel extremely blessed even in our current situation.

I often wonder if those people around me driving their Excursions to their beach house while talking on their Bluetooth phones and listening to their Ipods can even see past those things to view the sunset or hear the waves or feel the sand. Are they happy? Do they feel loved? Does joy fill their heart when they are with their family? I would hope so for their sake because it seems like an awfully high price to pay if they're not.

I'll keep my simple life. I prefer to look in a different direction for my love and happiness. Though I am human and truth be told I wouldn't mind a few days in the OBX!